The capacity to love.

I loved Jess three and a half years ago when I married her.

Today, I love her more. I’m sure three years from now, today’s love will seem cute.

Before I had Elliot, I didn’t know how much I would love him. My love for him is completely new, and I didn’t know I could love this way.

This capacity to love intrigues me. I’m sure my love for Jess, Elliot, and any other kids we have will continue to grow. My capacity to love friends and family, as we go through life, will grow too.

I think there are two components to our capacity to love: width and depth.

Width is the amount of people I can love well. I’m not so great here, because I can easily get exhausted and spread thin. I just don’t have the personality nor the energy to go wide in my capacity to love. There is definitely an opportunity for growth here.

On the other hand, I feel more at home going deeper. It’s easier for me to spend quality time with a smaller number of people and go deep in the relationships.

All this to say — I just want to love well. I want to model the love Jesus exemplified. Whether I go deep, or wide, I want to show sacrificial love. Whether it be Jess, Elliot, or some random guy eating his bugger driving his Lincoln, I want to love, and I want this love to spread.

Some earnest conversations.

Cutest baby ever

Elliot with puddles on his lips

Jess and I are on our first family vacation with our son.

We are blessed to be able to get away for a couple of days to unwind and recharge.

This morning, we went to a coffee shop and had a really good conversation. We talked about our goals, individually and as a couple. We talked about the kind of parents we want to be. We talked about our future plans. We talked about our strengths and how we can better live in it.

It was life-giving.

Earlier this week, we had another conversation which was not as pleasant, but equally life-giving. There were some value differences that we had to address and work out. After our talk, we better understood each others’ expectations and how to proceed in harmony. It was good.

I’m blessed to have a wife who I can share these earnest moments with. I don’t take it for granted. These honest conversations push us to growth. It’s been a joy seeing Jess grow into the wife and mother she is today. I’ve been challenged and molded into being the man I am today.

We are not finished sharpening each other, and I don’t think we will ever be. Even at eighty-eight, I want to get sharper than a samurai sword.

I love you Jess. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.

Happy vaycayday, baybay.